Hello mortals,

Meet The girl, The witch, and The ogre.

The girl. You’ve already learned about her. Apophis, Anubis, blah blah blah.

The witch. I’ve briefly mentioned her. But, alas, I still have to explain. I…I don’t even know how to explain my disgust. She is responsible for most of my… annoyance. She cooks…interesting things (most of it burnt : – ) ). The girl nicely offers her food to me…one of the few times I have to be polite (what would she think of me if I weren’t?). I accept it kindly, but…Er…let’s drop it. The only… acceptable…thing she does for me is bring me to The girl. Otherwise, she picks me up and squishes me against her face. Ugh. I’m done talking about her.

The ogre. I can’t be ANYWHERE with him! If i’m on the TV center – GET OFF! If i’m on the couch – GET OFF! If i’m on the table – GET OFF! If i’m on the counter – GET OFF! HOW is a god supposed to live like that?!?!?!?! And then he has the NERVE to pick me up and rock me like a baby!!!!!!!