Hello mortals,

O woe is me!

Woe, woe, woe is me! O, woe is me, To have seen what I have seen, to see what I see! This world isn’t meant for an over-achiever like me! But beyond that, The girl has been gone so much! *sobs* I miss her so. She goes to the Neighbors house everyday! Sometimes she stays for supper, and doesn’t bring me back any meat! Then on Fridays she’s gone ALL DAY! From 10:30 AM till 5:30 PM! Then sometimes they go out for dinner too! I MISS HER! The only time we have together is at night, when it’s cold so she holds me under the blankets. Ok, that might be a little extreme… I see her, she’ll hold me, but it’s never good enough!

But she did win me back by getting me a sparkley collar! Oh how I love it! It’s like a little crown for you neck… It’s very pretty and makes me feel like a princess! BUT! We must go back to me being mad. I don’t want her to think that I have forgiven her.

But do you know what’s even worse than her going down to the neighbors? THE NEIGHBORS COMING DOWN TO MY HOUSE. The dog just runs around looking for toys and butt-tucking, tries to eat Worthless’s food, then when he discovers that there is no food in that dish, he goes and tries to get MY FOOD. Then he demands to go outside, then after he goes outside, he comes in again, and does all that stuff over again! Then he finds me sleeping on the TV stand, and jumps up and tries to eat me! *sobs* He’s a meanie-bo-beanie! HE MUST PAY!!! MY RA, HE MUST! *prays* Oh Ra, give me the strength to abolish him. Let me do my part in taking over the world. Amen.

So I am conjuring  up a plan to seek revenge. It will be big. It will be painful. It will be hilarious. (for me) Stick around for “Mwahahaha Part 2” 😀