Too much catnip?

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I think this little man has had too much catnip...

I think this little man has had too much catnip…


Day 21: A Neighbor Dilemna and a Neighbor Introduction


Hello Mortals,

After a very long hiatus, I am back to write another journal entry.

I was chatting on the phone the other day with Patches when her owners were taking a nap. We were talking about our lives for the past month or so. She said that her owners finally got a fence around their backyard, and that she is able sometimes to go out and explore. She says that there is an annoying little neighbor dog (Something about neighbors..) who yips and yips every second of the day. Her owners have taught her apparently that she’s a big-bad-dog who can scare away anything. She’s smaller than Patches! And Patches is a model!

Anyway, she was telling me about how there’s a bunny family living under the shed in the backyard. Ever so often she says when The girl comes down to visit they will put carrots outside the shed. She said that the bunny family is very nice. They even sent her a family picture in the mail!

The Peter family

The Cottontail’s family picture Patches sent me via Facebook

She said that unfortunately Ms. Cottontail is a widow. Mr. Cottontail was in a mowing accident two years ago. So Patches sometimes goes to babysit Ms. Cottontail’s kids. But she has to be able to sneak out of the house when her Jail-keepers aren’t looking. She has to deal with a lot getting there, but their house is the epitome of Homey. She sent me this picture on Facebook too;

The Peter's House

The Cottontail’s House

She said that they are the sweetest Bunnies she’s ever met! Ms. Cottontail always gives her a glass of her special Carrot Smoothie that flushes toxins from your body. She said that it makes her feel amazing and more ready than ever to pose for her pictures! Also she said that Ms. Cottontail’s Carrot Cake is amazing too.

Well, enough of my rambling about other things. Patches said that she has a dilemna, and she needed my help. She said that when The Neighbor rings the bells on the back door he gets to go out immediately! Her on the other hand, she can stand there for hours and ring them and everyone ignore her! All she wants is to be able to go outside on her own whim. She doesn’t know how to get them to let her out. She’s tried slipping out when The Neighbor goes out, and slipping out the front door when people come in from outside, everything! She try’s to open the back door when it’s not completely latched. She said that she is just exhausted from everything she’s tried to do.

She called me for backup, and I don’t know either! I’ve already called all the contacts in my cell phone, searched on human websites for tips and tricks to confuse humans, (Though I’m not sure; They had all non-drug ways of confusing them. Personally I would just drug ’em and run out the door!) but I found nothing that would help in her situation. I’ve called H-Q, and they aren’t sure that they can help a ex-agent without being very bound legally. So now i’m turning to you. If you have anyways of defeating humans, please, tell me. I want to help her. Please leave any ideas in the comments.



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