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Anniversary!

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Hello mortals,

you should worship me more now.

Today marks the 2 year anniversary that I first basked you with my awesomeness. I’m pretty spectacular. Just saying.

Jailbirdcat,

Padme 

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Hello!

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I call this my Elder Price kitty. (Brownie points if you get that reference ;))

I call this my Elder Price kitty. (Brownie points if you get that reference ;))

TGIF

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Let me end your week with a number of violent cat pictures ~~~~~~

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Day 31: The Kitty Kouncil least bit Kozy enKounter

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“Bobby! Thank you for coming.” Tom says. Bobby sits down beside me and props his feet up on the table. “Let’s get this thing going!” He exclaims. “Feet. Off.” Tom demands. “Sorry…” Bobby says. “So. Let’s get down to business.” I say focused on capturing Vincinzo.

“Let’s lock this sucker up.” Charlie says

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

Okay, do we have any leads to Vincinzo?” I ask. “Well…no.” Tom says and we all give a huff “Do we have any inkling of where he might be??” I ask Bobby. “That would be a no.” Bobby answers. “So why exactly did you call us in if you had no leads other than the fact that he’s gone?!” I ask Tom annoyed “Well because Char-” “Because I have the map of the Island he might be on” Charlie cuts him off. “And how do you know that it’s where he could be?” I ask to no one in particular. “Because it was in his cell.” Tom tells me. “Well that would have been helpful to have known right away” I rant.

 

“So the places he could be are; Rocky Docks, The Last Island, Fright Forest, Deathly Bog, The Lost Treasure” “Which is no doubt a trap” Bobby says “,The Vile Volcano, Piranha Lagoon, Paramount Peaks, Creepy Cove, and of course the Island is surrounded with Shark infested waters” I list. “So which route would you like to choose for your death?” Charlie says in an announcer’s voice, which sends Bobby into a bout of giggles. “KEEP IT TOGETHER” I yell as I smack each of them.

“Okay, so I feel as though we’re all thinking this” Tom begins “We don’t have enough agents to surround the island plus send enough into each part to be safe” “Exactly. We don’t know how many allies he’s got country wide. We could be in bad shape if we underestimate him.” I explain.  “What is our next step, then?” Charlie asked. “We go to the Kitty Kouncil and demand to recruit and train agents.” I say.

“Do you realize  how long that would take?” Tom asked “Do you realize how long Vincinzo made me wait to catch him?!” I exclaim. “Padme’s right, if we wait long enough maybe we can tire him out.” Bobby says thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, I know this is serious. but can we just focus on the fact that he just said something that makes sense?” Charlie jokes

~At The Kouncil~

 

“Sir, please. If you just listen to us for one minute!-” “What she means, with all due respect, is what other way is there to extract him from that island without killing off all your agents?!” Tom diplomatically cuts me off. “That’s not my job. My job is to stop any absurd plans from disrupting our agency!” Edmund poop-ily says.

A quick grid of the Kouncil-cats, shall we?

 

“If you’re sitting there telling me that you don’t care about your agents then you are going to have to answer to a lot of cats.” I warn. “Is that a threat?” Douglass asks. “You can take that however you’d like, sir” I force a smile. “Are you going to let her threaten Douglass like that, Edmund?!?!” Sullivan squeaks “Sullivan hold it together!” Edmund commands.

…….

“So you’re saying because the agents didn’t die because of Vincinzo then it’s not your problem? It’s still your agents! Besides, what proof do you have that says they didn’t??” Chadwick defends for us. “‘What difference does it make??'” WIlliamson asks. “It makes a very significant difference, good sir!”

batman_slap_display-300x290-e1351481434610

#glovesmack

“Look, we don’t need a lot of money. We have a whole section of our building that isn’t being used. We could easily turn into dorms.” I explain. “We’ve had 5 encounters with Vincinzo in the last year. It’s only a matter of time before something is compromised, giving him free reign to steal information, or Ra- forbid, Agents.” “Ma’am, how can you guarantee you’ll have cats that want to be agents?” Chadwick asks.

“We can’t.” I say. The whole council erupts in laughter. I raise my hand signaling I have more to say. “But sometimes in order to change, we have to change. Take that leap of faith. Sure, sometimes it won’t work out. But just because agents have died doesn’t mean we can’t live.” I recite \

They look at each other. Edmund takes a breath, “Agents, I’m sorry,but…..”

TO BE CONTINUED…

Jailbirdcat,

Padme

Fathers take note…

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Multi-tasking at it's finest

Multi-tasking at it’s finest

The Kitty Kongress

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I just have to take a moment to tell my fellow cats/Gods that The Kitty Konsortium is running elections for The Kitty Kongress, and I need to vote for my good pal Hank in Virginia. – JBC, Padme

o-HANK-THE-CAT-facebook

(random pic found from google search. Please folks, don’t vote for a random cat on the internet. That could lead to world domination and that wouldn’t be good for the hooman kind -TG)

Day 30: The Adventures of Jailbirdcat

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Hello mortals,

I have a story for you peasant brains.

So I was talking to Tom the other day, and we got to talking about our Agency History. And he told me a fascinating story about Ancient Egypt and The Kitty Konsortium (Our agency). So if you don’t want to read this, you must be a dog. So please, carry onto Rumpydog’s blog. -_- And you dogs should also sleep with one eye open.

 

Time traveling back to Ancient Egypt ~~~

 

 

 

 

A time where cats were worshipped, Pharaohs ran the lands, and the people were brought to justice with something they called “Ma’at” – the ancient Egyptian concept of truth, balance, order, law, morality, and justice. And also, a time where the gods opperated diamond space crafts.

Yes, you heard me right, mortal. They were built to aid a system that you would know as “Amazon.com”. Ran straight from the Amazonian lands (yes, the river), meant as a secret source for cats to buy everything they needed to be Godly. Obviously they couldn’t let the mortals know that they too had to have litter boxes, and If I may say so myself, Some FABULOUS jewelry!

The Space crafts would then be stocked with the things cats had ordered and it would be shipped to them. How the mortals didn’t see big diamond space crafts?? Cloaking devices. Obviously! Your brains worry me, peasant.

After a few millenia, The amazonian.com™ started getting fewer and fewer usages. The cats had been getting run down by mortals that thought they were better than them. Soon enough back in the Amazonian lands, they started having to make budget cuts, so they had to lay off some of their space craft drivers, so production levels dipped down to irreversible  levels, and they ended up shutting down amazonian.com™.

Obviously they didn’t need the space crafts anymore, so they called up Tutu to have his company tear the crafts down and use them for recycling purposes, but when you put the God of Sleep in charge of something, it just doesn’t get done. Lazy, lazy Tutu. The majority of the space crafts sunk fully into the ground, But some of them only sunk half way. The openings to the minority of them were accessible, so the Egyptians made the rooms into tombs, and dressed the hallways in booby traps. They made them into mazes so the “tomb raiders” AKA “The space craft raiders” wouldn’t be able to find the valuables that were buried with the tombs.

The diagram of what the space crafts really looked like. Above the red line in the center is the "pyramid" for those of you who don't understand.

The diagram of what the space crafts really looked like. Above the red line in the center is the “pyramid” for those of you who don’t understand.

Years and years and years and years and years (you get the point) after all this, the Hoomans found these so called “Pyramids”. And now, apparently, they are a part of the “7 Wonders of the World”. IDK what that even is.

“And that’s the story!” Tom says. “Tom,” I say “MIND. BLOWN.”

Jailbirdcat, 

Padme

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