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Day 23: What is this “Easter” you speak of?

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Hello mortals,

I shall tell you the TRUE story of easter. (Hooman note: This is by no means supposed to be offensive.)

Now, the New Testiment teaches that the resurection of Jesus, which Easter celebrates, is the foundation of the Christian faith. This resurection established to all doubters that Jesus was indeed The Son of God.

But the one thing the Bible left out….Jesus was a cat. How did this come about, you ask? How did the feline community come from Egypt to Jerusalem? Well, long story short, Egyptions went a lil’ cray-cray, so we left.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “This isn’t true!” “Faker!”. Shut up. I have proof. Actually my grandfather was there. He took pictures with his iPhone.

 

Amen.

Amen.

PRAISE CAT JESUS!

PRAISE CAT JESUS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So now, after talking to the ghost’s of my ancestors, my agency, friends, enimies, we’ve decided that mortal kind is ready to know this. Will they worship Cat Jesus vs. Man Jesus? I can’t say. They will likely resume their old ways after they’ve clicked out of this journal entry. But, I just hope I haven’t wasted my breath here.

Obviously Easter isn’t quite here yet, but this kind of thing is hard to wrap your stupid mortal mind around. So I shall give you time to come to terms with it. If you will, that is. Happy early CEaster mortals!

Jailbirdcat,

Padme

WORSHIP ME | Cat holidays to celebrate!

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I don’t feel you worship me enough, so I very generously are going to give you the dates of holidays so you can. Stupid mortals.

  • CAT NEW YEARS | January 2nd
  • NATIONAL ANSWER YOUR CAT’S QUESTIONS DAY | January 22nd
  • NATIONAL CAT HEALTH MONTH | Febuary
  • HAIRBALL AWARENESS DAY | April 28th
  • NATIONAL HUG YOUR CAT DAY | May 30th (Some sites say it’s May 19th)
  • ADOPT A SHELTER CAT MONTH | June
  • RAT CATCHER’S DAY | July 22nd
  • NATIONAL FERAL CAT DAY | October 16th
  • NATIONAL CAT DAY | October 29th (CHECK THE WIDGETSS)
  • CAT HERDINGS DAY | December 15th

 Credit goes to gone-ta-pott.com You had one job. Worship me. You’ve received your warning. JBC OUT!

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